The Family System as Myth: Understanding the Invisible Script
When the Collapse Wasn’t Random
I have been thinking lately, about my life. Just looking at how it has gone so far, and what all occurred. On some level there is the personal myth, tied to the human events that happened. The dysfunctional family system I was born into, the bullying by peers and community, the social and emotional exile. The death of many loved ones, the flood that I survived, next to the 2020 collapse of my external structure (think home, marriage, job, and emotionally). In some way the emotional collapse, and even the break down of the marriage were inevitable things to occur. You might call it fate. Yet really on the deepest layer, what it really was, well…. lets call it unconscious patterns.
Now most humans would say all these events are just random, or just bad luck. Yet there are no such things. The flood though, and the loved ones dying, like Renate’s death at age 10, those are events, that could be called outside such patterns. They are what we rightfully call tragedies. However, the entire pattern from my childhood until my eventual emotional breakdown in 2020… That right there was not random, as it actually followed a set script. We could call that a myth. As in actuality it is a myth, one that I was unconscious of. Hence trapped within.
Now when it comes to such mythic patterns that we unconsciously play out. They are not random. We are assigned these roles by the collective unconscious of the family system first, and then later the community. Which represent different manifestations of the collective drama of the civilisation one is born into. Below are some of the most common roles in the dysfunctional family system. You might even carry multiple such roles, or have played different ones at different times.
🩸 Scapegoat
The Bearer of the Shadow
Scapegoat → Carries Unconscious Family Shame → Exiled / Destroyed / Transformed into Redeemer and killed
Mythic Archetypes: Yemo, Ymir, Zagreus, Christ
Shadowed so others remain “innocent”; often fated to die, go mad, or become the liberator that is killed.
If they survive: They become the only one who can see the truth.
🤴🏻 Golden Child
The Carrier of the Ideal
Golden Child → Must Uphold Family Image → Fragmented Self / Secret Collapse
Mythic Archetypes: pseudo-Apollo, Perseus, Icarus
Rewarded for perfection, but denied authenticity. Often suffers quiet despair or identity loss.
Trapped in the sun, never allowed to touch shadow.
🙇🏻♀️ Hero Child / Parentified Child
The False Savior
Hero → Takes On Adult Roles Too Soon → Burnout / Inner Emptiness
Mythic Archetypes: Atlas, Sisyphus, Tantalus
Over-responsible, emotionally crushed under the weight of duty.
If they awaken: become powerful protectors with boundaries.
💀 Lost Child
The Invisible One
Lost Child → Withdraws Into Silence → Dissociation / Inner World Becomes Sanctuary
Mythic Archetypes: Persephone (in the beginning), Orpheus, and Hermes (hidden)
Becomes ghost-like to avoid conflict. Often the most intuitive or artistic.
If reclaimed: emerges as guide between worlds.
🎭 Mascot / Clown
The Distractor from Pain
Mascot → Uses Humor to Deflect Tension → Unacknowledged Pain / Identity Crisis
Mythic Archetypes: Loki, Hermes the Trickster, Dionysus in Mask
Protects others with laughter and entertainment, but hides deep hurt.
If integrated: becomes the wise fool or sacred clown.
💄 Narcissistic Parent
The Devourer of Souls
Narcissist → Uses Children as Extensions → Perpetuates Systemic Soul Fragmentation
Mythic Archetypes: Kronos (devouring father), Mirror Queen (image-obsessed)
Fears their own vulnerability, projects it onto others.
Rarely transforms unless shattered (ego collapse).
🔥 The Family Myth
Unconscious System → Roles Assigned to Hide Collective Wound → Eternal Recurrence Until One Breaks the Pattern
The Scapegoat is the one fated to break it, through descent, death, and rebirth.
The myth only ends when someone sees it as myth.
In my own personal case, I played the combination of Scapegoat, Parentified Child and Lost Child. Starting of as Parentified Child and Scapegoat. Where I later tried to protect myself to act out the Lost Child role. To ensure to be left alone, within the family system. So pretending to not exist, to have no needs, and no desires. However, both within the larger community system, and in the family system, unconsciously I remained within the scapegoat role. The Parentified Child and Lost Child role I also wrote about in my article about the Ghost Mommy role.
In a mythological sense for the Parentified Child role we can see this example in the tragic sense in the following;
🍂 Siegfried / Sigurd (Germanic) - (Death Path)
Raised with no true childhood, he’s trained to be a slayer of dragons and gods.
Killed by betrayal and misunderstanding, often by those he tried to protect.
Overcoming: Through Brunhilde, his story becomes part of the twilight of the gods, where the old order must fall for something new to emerge.
Yet the mythic arc out of this fate of death and betrayal, is the one below.
🦌 Parentified Child Arc (Sovereignty Path)
“Orphan Child → Artemis and the Arkteia → Sovereignty Goddess”
1. 🧸 Orphan Child
Even if parents are alive, the child is emotionally abandoned or expected to become the caretaker.
No true nurturer; becomes the “little adult” who learns to survive in a chaotic or cold world.
Mythic Feeling: Lost in the woods. Wild. Watching. Hyper-vigilant.
2. 🦌 Artemis & the Arkteia
In ancient Greece, young girls underwent the Arkteia, a ritual in which they became “she-bears” of Artemis. Facing their inner grief and wildness.
It symbolized crossing the threshold from lost-childhood into sovereign wildness, without male oversight. Just young women and bear-priestesses of Artemis.
Artemis refused domestication, and refused the roles men assigned to women.
🔱 Key moment: The girl no longer serves the dysfunctional structure, instead, she identifies with something greater, older, wilder.
3. 👑 Sovereignty Goddess
Sovereignty goddesses (like Epona, Rhiannon, Feronia, or Artemis herself) choose who may be king, and only if he serves life and land.
This is the full reclamation of inner authority. The former parentified child no longer needs to be needed. As the Arkteia rebirthed her into sovereignty.
She no longer protects those who refuse to grow up, instead, she inhabits herself fully. The soul becomes source rather than savior.
Yet when it comes to the role of scapegoat. That role is a difficult one to overcome, in the sense of actually psychologically freeing oneself. As this role touches upon the core logical of civilisation itself. The general arc of the scapegoat most of the times leads into death, either of the soul, or physically. Even when they might become the redeemer, they are often further scapegoated even harder, and pushed further into exile. As both the scapegoat role, as silent sufferer, and that of redeemer, are one of sacrifice and martyrdom. Within the next article I will go deeper into this path.