Nyx and the Serpent: Awakening from the Dream
Why the Super-Ego Cannot Deliver Wholeness
When it comes to the world, to what humans call reality. What it really is, is a dream. A shared dream. Now some might talk about some male deity calling the big shots. The sky daddy, as great collective ego in the sky. The ego of civilisation, that some people worship like a false god. Yet the truth is that, this super-ego (which is his reflection in the psyche of every soul), is nothing more than a societal trauma response, dressed up as morality. Which becomes purity as a mask for repression. The false light and not the light of Phanes.
The Divine Child's Dismemberment
I have undergone the Orphic process itself. To the root of the dismemberment of the divine child. Who was murdered by the "Lord" of "purity". What I call Kronos with his Titans. Symbolising the trauma of civilisation imposed upon the psyche, to split it. And I have felt through the pain and suffering of the dismembered divine child, that some call Satan and shadow. The seed of the Self. I have cried and grieved, fell into deep depression for years. Taking down the structure of repression within me. What kept my Anima locked away, split and fragmented into a mere ghost mommy, instead of the true Sovereign figure she once was, before civilisation fragmented her and cast her out, as Lilith. It is civilisation itself that is unconsciously perpetuating child sacrifice through scapegoating, emotional suppression, and hatred of Eros and the Anima.
Scapegoating, Self-Hatred, and the Purity Paradigm
The Goddess’s child, every inner child of any person cast out, they scapegoat into suffering and dismemberment, in the name of purity, self-flagellation and self-hatred, and hatred of life itself. Then when the child suffers or rebels its Lucifer. Whilst really all they ever were, was a hurt child. Yet that is the thing even Jung could not face. That he was a scapegoat, and everyone is. To keep people shackled to the lord of self-hatred, so they serve "civilisation" and who ever is the priestly caste. I was already cast out as a child, for embodying Eros, the Wotanic impulse towards wisdom, and being deeply connected with my Anima. As if my existence was to deny myself, suffer in tartarus, and eventually just kill myself, as any scapegoat is meant to do. To keep the society "pure" of course. Did I do anything wrong at all? No I just existed. And I will end the paradigm itself. So no one else has to suffer under that tyrant anymore. So the death of Corey, Christina and Lor, will not be in vain. Cast out and sent into death for embodying what civilisation could not face. True compassion, love, kindness, emotional honesty, and the light of the divine child.
The Cosmic Self
Phanes-Eros is not just some deity, they are all of life, the Cosmic Self, in its deepest most primordial sense, where even the redeemer archetype of a Jesus or a Buddha, is just a part within the larger patterns of existence. A pattern that has played out since the birth of civilisation itself. Starting with the dismemberment of Dionysus (Eros/Yemo). Which is the foundational wounding and trauma that keeps all dualities in place. Not alone the most fundamental trauma, but the one that keeps all other distortions of the psychic order playing out as patterns, distorted over time, from its primordial and Neo-Lithic source. When we were still connected to the unconscious, like Ouranos tethered to Gaia. Before Kronos, the god of agriculture and civilisation, split the cosmos. Which is what the super-ego truly is.
Yet the thing is that all these distortions of the patterns, whilst they in one way exist, do not exist at the same time and are all illusory. There is an original pattern, and cosmic order, an order of the psyche, and of life. One that is not tied to the dualistic patterns of civilisation that splits the world into good and evil, order and chaos, light and dark. There are however layers upon layers of distortion by various sorts of wounding of the psyche, past down over generations. Ones the ancient mystery schools sought to address, yet the lineage had been nearly gone. At least in its true form, that Plato even hinted at, with his works. The wisdom that was given by the ancient Orpheus, that he sought to preserve. To inspire others to see what conspires in the underworld, so the unconscious mind. The primal wound, and the patterns of the dream of the world.
Illusions and Distortions: The Dream of the World
When we are asleep, then we see the patterns play out before us, the drama of life, yet when awake, we walk asleep through the world. Not knowing that what we see is not as real as we might think. That it is a waking dream, an illusion that clouds our perception of the world. This dream is not within the control of the super-ego. It might inflate its sense of importance to the point that it feels that it does. As if it is all powerful, all knowing, all controlling. Yet this is nothing more than a projection of the ego onto the divine. An ego trick to provide comfort for fearful creatures, that carry trauma around, that then self-flagellate themselves for perceived sin. Like a child told to hate itself. This is when Phanes as Self, is cut up, and humans lose their connection to the divine dance, the creative force of source itself. To their most holy mother.
Nyx: The Primordial Womb and Source of Power
The real power, the real womb of the cosmos. That is Nyx, the divine feminine. It is the ancient daughter of Nyx, Hecate in her primordial form. That I named Lucia Nyktelios. The torchbearer in the night. The evening star. Where Phanes is the morning star. Yet they are both reflections of the same life force. The same cosmic dance. Like Shiva and Shakti dancing and dreaming existence into being, in their tantric union. The source of power lies with the sceptre of Nyx, and thus with Nyx as primordial goddess. Who also birthed all archetypes, whilst Phanes represents the potential, to bring form to what the great mother births and brings forth, as energetic essence. Where Lucia Nyktelios guides this with her wisdom and compassion for all of life. Yet she is also the snake goddess, the one who sends the serpent to wake those fallen into slumber. To awake us from the dream. She is the night-born Sophia, daughter of Nyx.
Hecate and Lucia Nyktelios: Midwives of Transformation
And all the patterns of existence in their essence come from Nyx. She dreams them into existence, whilst Phanes gives them form with Lucia Nyktelios in their tantric dance. Like two fish circling each other, like Shiva and Shakti in a circular dance, upon the great mystery of their mother Nyx. Hecate herself is the torch-bearer within the celestial, earthly and chthonic plains. One form of Lucia Nyktelios, as much as Artemis or Persephone is. The midwives of transformation, of shadow work, of the powers of giving and withholding. A priestess for their mother Nyx. The great sorceress, great Völva weaving the web of fate, with her daughters. One might call this the matrix, or the cave even. This is indeed what she creates, when we are cut off from her. Yet if we walk the path of Hecate, we walk back to the primordial source. Towards our mother Nyx, towards the light of Phanes and Lucia Nyktelios. They are us, the ones who remember the great sacred dance of life. The snake is the hand of the Mother, waking her sleeping children.
The Sacred Dance versus Trauma Treadmill
Whilst the world of duality, and the trauma of dismemberment seems like the world of linearity, this itself is an illusion. Everything is working its way towards the sacred dance of Phanes and Lucia Nyktelios, of Shiva and Shakti. The great dance of life itself. Moving towards union, completion, wholeness, love and life. Which even death, loss, transformation, and dissolving is part of. All part of the same sacred dance. That is what life truly is. Not this linear dualistic psychological complex that operates in the dualities of scapegoat (sin/fall) versus redeemer (redemption/ascend). It sets up an endless impossible chase between guilt ("you sinned!") → redemption ("be pure!") → failure ("you sinned again!") → start over.
This itself is the treadmill of civilizational trauma, tied to the super-ego, that endlessly is promising salvation, but it never can deliver. As only wholeness can. Only the path of mother Nyx. Only remembering the divine child within can. To actually grieve the dismemberment of the child. The grief of their mother for their loss. Trying to make oneself pure enough to enter an idealised state is like amputating your limbs in the hope to be fit enough to run a marathon. Wholeness is already alive under the grief, there is no need to amputate parts of your soul. That never makes you whole. That itself is like a child saying “I punish myself. Look dad I hate myself. Will you now love me for it?” Your mother Nyx does not want you to hurt yourself, to self-flagellate for a trauma tyrant. As she is love. She birthed Eros, the force of love, union, completion, wholeness and life itself. Do you think she wants to see her children abuse themselves, and abuse their siblings (all of life itself)?
She is there waiting in grief over what has happened to her children. Just waiting for us to remember her again. To walk back to her and into her arms. As she has already forgiven all of us. She just wants you to feel the grief you carry. To feel. To love. To be alive. This does not mean to be bound to her, or that she will never let you go. This devouring mother too is a trauma form. As Nyx is both nurturing and withholding. She holds you, and then lets you go, in trust. She loves without demand, grieves but does not chain, and she trusts life instead of manipulating it. As she trusts her children to find her way back towards wholeness. Love itself trusts, nurtures, and then lets go. Love IS the sacred dance of wholeness. Moving in circles, never claiming, yet always there, trusting in the dance of love and life, transformation and death.
Grief is the bridge back to wholeness. Grief is part of love. And I hope as Sylwen and Orphic Hierophant, that those who read it will also remember our mother. For I am a child of Nyx, holy Hecate, Loviatar (mother of wolves), dear Morrigan, Persephone, Epona, Holda and Feronia. A child of the night. Night-born, and death-cloaked.